


Breathless

by orphan_account



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 05:24:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2012640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During his seven years of redemption, Jellal has been told that Erza Scarlet is dead, but he knows better. He knows, deep inside him, that she is not dead. Not yet. Not while he’s still living. He is still breathing, which is the only thing he needs to know that she is not dead yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathless

Erza Scarlet is not dead.

He doesn’t know how to explain it to Ultear and Meredy; he just knows. Something deep inside him tells him she is still alive somewhere. His hopes never leave him through those seven years of redemption.

“How can you be so sure?” asks Ultear one day, with tired eyes and an unreadable expression on her face.

He shrugs.

“I simply feel it” he answers. His partner eyes him suspiciously “I don’t know how to explain it, Ultear. I just know that the day Erza is really dead I will stop breathing”

She doesn’t answer to this –how could she? She is not going to smash down his hopes and dreams, not after all she has done to him in the past. She knows, and Meredy knows too because she’s too sensitive for her own good, that Erza is Jellal’s lifeline. He’s just waiting. The day he sees Erza again, Jellal will put his life in her hands and let her decide whether he lives or not.

Meredy says nothing. It’s not often that they talk about Fairy Tail, but when they do talk about them, it always ends with a vulnerable Jellal and a silent Ultear. She knows that the two of them are too soaked with guilt, too remorseful. They regret their past with such a passion that some days they can’t move forward.

So Meredy says nothing for a while and then she changes the topic with merriment, and manages to coax a smile from both her partners.

.

He has been in heaven once. It was peaceful and warm, and the only thing that brought light was Erza. He didn’t know who she was, what she looked like or if he had met her before.

But he did know that Erza was good. Walking in the path of light, making him feel the most beautiful thing he has ever felt. 

When he stepped out of heaven, he sought her and found her and decided that she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

Heaven is nothing compared to her.

.

His jailors were the ones to deliver him the news.

Fairy Tail’s core members had been whipped out of the surface of Earthland.

“She’s not dead” he whispered to himself “She can’t be dead”

“What did you say?” growled one of his guards, the violent one.

Then came the excruciating pain, but he did not scream because right then the only pain he felt was the one telling him that Erza, his only light in this world, was not there anymore. But he knew better. He knew that the day Erza is dead, truly and coldly dead, he will stop living. Just like that. His heart will stop beating and his lungs will take no more air. It’s the right thing to do. He has to atone for his past sins, but he will succumb to darkness if he loses sight of the light.

So he knows, deep inside him, that she is not dead. Not yet. Not while he’s still living.

.

They broke him free.

Jellal didn’t recognise the pink-haired child, but he did recognise the woman. But there was something softer and calmer about her that kept him at bay.

“Why did you do that?” he asked after taking the first deep breath of fresh, pure air.

“I have to atone for my sins” she answered quietly, so as not to startle him, as if he were a wounded, scared animal “I want to help the people I hurt once. You… are a good start. And you didn’t deserve to be there”

He turned slowly towards Ultear. She was looking at him straight in the eye. She was not afraid but she was guilty, he could tell. She regretted the awful things she had done in the past. And then he realized that Ultear was just like him. She had been overwhelmed by Zeref’s darkness, and she did bear a great portion of the guilt, but he knew that if she had had a second chance, another opportunity, maybe she wouldn’t have done what she did.

So Jellal nodded —Erza had forgiven him, so why wouldn’t he be able to forgive Ultear?

.

The three of them share stories in the dark of the night.

That way he learns about Ul, Lyon and Gray, about Meredy’s village and Grimoire Heart. Most importantly, that way he is able to gather information about Tenroujima’s last minutes. Erza had been there –she still is, if his intuition doesn’t fool him. Acnologia had attacked the island, but it had disappeared somehow.

Jellal is positive that something else had happened that fateful day, but he can’t put his finger on it.

Crime Sorcière can go nowhere near Tenroujima because of the Magic Council’s presence and that drives him insane, but he maintains his composure.

She is still there.

He is still breathing, so she has to be there.

.

Fairy Tail grows weaker and weaker with each passing day. The guild members left behind don’t have enough strength to keep their place among the other raising guilds. Lamia Scale and Blue Pegasus rise above them, and Sabertooth beats them all.

Crime Sorcière remains silent and continues to atone for their sins. They don’t seek glory, fame or recognition. They are strong enough to get rid of entire dark guilds and that’s all that matters.

They only seek for Zeref, and then they will be free.

.

Erza Scarlet is not dead.

He knows that by heart. Ultear and Meredy may doubt him, but he is still breathing and that’s the only thing he needs to know that she is not dead yet.

They seldom speak about Fairy Tail, but Jellal thinks about them more often than he is willing to acknowledge. But they know —of course they know. Ultear reads him like an open book and Meredy is the most sensitive of the three of them. Whenever they find him with a vacant look in his eyes and a grieving expression upon his face, they simply know.

They know that Jellal is grieving her, waiting for her.

But they also know that, even if she is still alive somewhere, he will have her.

.

It’s been seven years and Fairy Tail’s core members are back.

It’s been seven years and the world is not the same as before.

He is now twenty six years old, Meredy has learnt how to smile and Ultear is now a happier person. Something is going on with the Grand Magic Games and they are worried about it; their goal is to destroy Zeref and eradicate dark guilds, and their day is drawing closer.

But nothing else matters when he finally sees her. He doesn’t know how he manages to not touch her, hold her and kiss her.

He has been right. Erza Scarlet is very much alive. Strong, kind, beautiful, heavenly Erza, who now is standing before him and looking at him with the same longing eyes he has been wearing since Acnologia’s attack.

He doesn’t know he has been holding his breath for seven years when he finally breathes.

Erza is there.

And she is not dead.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was also posted on an old tumblr account of mine sometime last year, but I don't use that account anymore and have left it behind; so there's a tiny little chance that you may have already read this, but it's the same person posting it, so worry not!


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